31 Days of Kissing the Wounds :: Day 19 ~ Something Vacant

damagedshellpinepoint29may2015logo31daysWelcome to Day 19 of 31 Days of Kissing the Wounds, a month of posts about the beauty, longing, and soul inherent in our damaged selves; in the world’s brokenness; in the imperfection, incompleteness, and transience of all that we love; in our recognition of each other as the walking wounded; and in the jagged, messy, splintery, deformed, sullied, unhealed parts of me, you, the natural world, our communities, the culture. Each post will look at these ideas from its own vantage point, which may not obviously connect with the others.

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“We don’t forget, but something vacant settles in us.”

— Roland Barthes, Mourning Diary (2012)

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“I saw old Autumn in the misty morn
Stand shadowless like silence, listening
To silence.”

— Thomas Hood, from “Ode: Autumn” (1827)

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“I want to explain to her that loneliness isn’t remedied by people around me, that my loneliness is an integral part of me.”

— Sejal Badani, Trail of Broken Wings (2015)

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This year,
fall muffles the garden
and nearby haunts.

Joe Pye weed, Norway maple in distance, 19 October
Joe Pye weed, Norway maple in distance, 19 October
shade garden, 19 October
shade garden, 19 October
back border, 19 October
back border, 19 October
peach leaves, 19 October
peach leaves, 19 October
leafy trail, Clark Pond Trail, 16 October
leafy trail, Clark Pond Trail, 16 October

It’s a kind of vacancy,
what’s left after the colour fades,
after the structure softens,
after the green gives way.

red zinnia, 19 October
red zinnia, 19 October
whorled aster without chlorophyll, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
whorled aster without chlorophyll, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
fern, half green, half not, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
fern, half green, half not, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
Mexican sunflower, 19 October
Mexican sunflower, 19 October

It’s silence, listening to silence.

Norway maple and under it, 19 October
Norway maple and under it, 19 October

It’s a kind of loneliness:
mourn the voices of beetles and bees, miss the dragonflies now dampened,
feel forsaken by zinnias, formerly cheerful, so happy to see you,
now lost in a brown study, looking away, suddenly absent, dulled.

zinnia, tomato cage, 19 October
zinnia, tomato cage, 19 October
back yard with pallets, 19 October
back yard with pallets, 19 October
asters, 19 October
asters, 19 October
fungi, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
fungi, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
goldenrod and blueberry, Path of Life, Vermont, 15 October
goldenrod and blueberry, Path of Life, Vermont, 15 October
dead iridescent blue blister beetle, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
dead iridescent blue blister beetle, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October

Some days, mostly mornings and evenings,
it’s a misty, foggy obscuring of detail,
an unfocused distraction of yellow, red, orange.

Olga Mezitt' rhododendron, weeping 'Jade' crabapple, 13 October
Olga Mezitt’ rhododendron, weeping ‘Jade’ crabapple, 13 October
shed, evening light, 12 October
shed, evening light, 12 October
dwarf 'River King' birch, tulip poplar and euonymus, 13 October
dwarf ‘River King’ birch, tulip poplar and euonymus, 13 October
tulip poplar and euonymus, 13 October
tulip poplar and euonymus, 13 October
yellow striped maple leaves and others, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
yellow striped maple leaves and others, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
purple 'Bluebird' asters and yellow amsonia foliage, 19 October
purple ‘Bluebird’ asters and yellow amsonia foliage, 19 October
path, Knights Hill, 9 October
path, Knights Hill, 9 October
meadow, Knights Hill, 9 October
meadow, Knights Hill, 9 October

Behind the blur,
familiar suggestions of plants you knew
begin to dissociate from this sharp world.

bee balm, elderberry shrub, 19 October
bee balm, elderberry shrub, 19 October
'Bail Day' hydrangea, 19 October
‘Bail Day’ hydrangea, 19 October

A dreamscape of contrast,
everywhere you look:
shouted last hurrahs,
quiet last rites.

hobblebush, Clark Pond Trail, 16 October
hobblebush, Clark Pond Trail, 16 October
big tooth aspen, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
big tooth aspen, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
beech tree with bear claw marks, Webb Forest Trail, 14 October
beech tree with bear claw marks, Webb Forest Trail, 14 October
'Autumn Joy' sedum blooms and 'Rozanne' geranium foliage
‘Autumn Joy’ sedum blooms and ‘Rozanne’ geranium foliage
garter snake active on a warm day, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
garter snake active on a warm day, Clark Pond Trail, 19 October
purple sand cherry, anise hyssop, black-eyed Susans, 19 October
purple sand cherry, anise hyssop, black-eyed Susans, 19 October

the season smudges distance:
memory,
and what’s approaching,
as you stand dazed
and muted.

Kezar Lake, 11 October
Kezar Lake, 11 October

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“I dream of places I have never been, but I dream of them often so they are familiar–”

— Joana Doxey, from “The Book of Worry”

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Can’t get enough of the lovely dead and dying? Instagram: Lovely Dead Crap. Very lovely.

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Thanks for checking in. Be sure to see what the other 31 Dayers are writing about.

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