…. or you will end up with cucurbits of gargantuan proportions. Fair warning.

The summer squash grew from nothing to its pictured extent in 5 days. The largest is 15 inches long.

The gourds by the composter — volunteers — have been stealthily increasing their girth for a month, millimeter by millimeter, but the moment my back was turned, they ballooned into Tweedledum and Tweedledee. And Tweedledoo — there are three of them that I have discovered so far; I’m afraid to look under any more leaves.

Even some of the cucumbers (see above) are zeppelin-like, though a couple retain their photogenic, market-ready dimensions.

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Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity.  You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it. —  S. J. Perelman